We've all blamed the dog, but...

In France, a woman has been jailed for cutting off her partner’s penis while he was unconscious and then telling the emergency operator that her dog had bitten it off and eaten it.

Police became suspicious when they asked her what breed of dog it was, and she told them it was a cross between a Doberman Pinscher and a Poodle – in other words, a Doodle Pinscher.

Next she told them it was a Bull Mastiff, but they told her it was just plain bull.

Despite an extensive search of her backyard, police never recovered the severed organ, but they did find a dozen tennis balls and a kilo of chop bones.